Friday, June 5, 2009

When Life Rains On You

I've been between jobs for over a year now and it's not as if I haven't been looking. Sometimes I feel as if I will scream if I have to fill out one more application - the same information over, and over, and over; wondering why as skilled as I am each interview has turned up empty. It's enough to tear you down and wear you down.

But every day I thank God that some how, some way my bill have been paid. I stand firm on my belief that He watches over me and that everything will turn up fine. But I won't lie and say that standing on faith has always been easy.

There are days when I literally have to fight with self to remind myself that God loves me, that he has always taken care of me and this time is no different. There are days when I wonder where the money will come from to meet the next bill but I cannot let fear creep in to my thoughts. My God WILL supply all my needs and He has. When you believe and have faith in God there is no room for fear. You cannot walk in faith and fear. It has been a battle not to let doubt and fear take over what I KNOW.

This has been the toughest road I've ever had to travel and I'm reminded of the poem Footprints in the Sand. This is the part of my journey where there is only one set of footprints in the sand because this is when God is carrying me. When I ask myself what will tomorrow bring I will answer - it will bring the continuation of God's love and protection and that He will continue to meet all my needs.

Life may be raining on me at the moment but I know that behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining. I know that God is my umbrella and I wonder how some people manage to get through life's rain without His umbrella.

I mostly wanted to say that I will be stronger because of this. It's not the rain that matters but how you handle the rain that falls. I, for one, can understand the desperation someone can feel when you look up one day and you don't have a dime to your name and you don't know where the next dime will come from. I can understand the desperation someone might feel to steal, work a street corner, or worse.

I thank God for His umbrella. Life is raining on me but I refuse to not see that there is beauty even in the rain for without a little rain nothing can grow and you cannot truly appreciate the sunshine.

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